Worship Our Goddess Feet. that was the first line in the ad on the last page in the classified section four of The Chicago Reader. it went on to describe how one could worship the goddesses feet (kissing licking smelling sucking massaging they could trample your face the toes could squish your nose) and the sort of feet they had (dirty size seven pedicured panty hosed smelly size ten bony smooth heeled ) …the list was quite colorful took up four lines and at the very end it simply said Now Hiring. i called. about a week later i was in a room on a couch in my bra and a long black wig and my red and green plaid polyester pants and combat boots. there was a girl on either side of me, we didn’t know one another. he was fat with long curly hair and noisy breathing and a video camera. he explained that this was part of the audition. we each had a pair of panty hose and green plastic army figurines the ones that are in action like pointing a gun or mid grenade throw. they were small and i could hold one between my forefinger and thumb. we were told as soon as the video camera went on to slowly work the figures down to the foot of the nylon then put the stockings on and then play with the action figures with our toes in the hose while laughing maniacally throughout. i’m no actress nor was i used to being in a bra in front of a wheezy man holding a camera so it took me a bit to get into character. he noticed this and suggested i throw my head back every so often and raise my eyebrows and shake my from side to side to really get into it. i’m sure i looked ridiculous. i blushed the whole way through and i remember the cold fall air felt so good on my skin once i had left. i also remember thinking that i had blown the try outs. that i’d never hear from him again and i’d never have anyone worship my feet or be called a goddess or have a goddess foot and i wasn’t too sure what any of that meant but i wanted it. i got the call a couple of days later. i’ve always loved that Marcie called Peppermint Patty sir.