we used to get together and Jack would come over with a bag of groceries. in it were the usual items, zucchini and cigarettes and a bottle of red wine and band aids and cherry tomatoes bananas and an eggplant. there were five of us that time, he liked when there were a lot of different girls it was more humiliating that way. he was a rich fuck, drove around in a fancy car and slicked back the last of his grays and did coke all the time to the point where even i thought he had a problem. one time years later i met him at St. Marks hotel and when i walked into the room he was lying on the floor naked fucking himself with a huge pink dildo while hardcore porn glared on the tv set his jaw didn’t stop grinding the whole night that we hung or maybe once mine started then i paid little mind to his so here he was laying on the hardwood kitchen floor five of us surrounding him burning with lit cigarettes and spitting on him talking all sorts of shit someone kicked him in the thigh and i think i wanted to show off so i stood over him and pissed on his face and looked out the open window and it was hot and summer and twilight as everyone kind of stopped what they were doing to watch this and laughed at him as he made funny gulping faces and someone put their cigarette out on his piss dripped shoulder and i got my panties all wet forgot to take them off due to all the excitement and i had a date that night with someone i had a crush on forever a guy a photo assistant from the studio i had interned at over the summer where i mainly swept floor upon floor with a big mop sweep feeling humiliated thinking this is worth it this is worth it and he never paid attention to me there but somehow somewhere we ended up making a date and i left the session early to meet him just as the other girls started shoving produce up his asshole and i wasn’t wearing any underwear because they were soaking wet and i had on a jean skirt a short one and headed over to the bar and we had our date. later that night drunk in his bed i remembered that i didn’t have them on as his hand crept up my thigh up my skirt and the thought crossed my mind that he may think i did this for him. i let him go with that.

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