CORNELIUS AND ELAN VITAL, WEEK BEFORE LAST…by Natasha Gornik 7.31.12

Posted on July 30, 2012 by natashagornik

i like the look on her face, i like the way she stares at him as he kisses ties licks canes flogs caresses. i like her tears that rain on her lower lashes and lids her eye makeup creeping down her cheeks slowly, blackened tear drops fall and catch on her upper lip all while her eye her gaze never strays from his face.this is the sort of thing that really gets me going, the realness the authenticity of these looks these moments like he she they forget that i am here this isn’t an act this isn’t about the performance, although it is a spectacular display, but it’s no longer about showing me anything this is not a presentation this is real this is what it’s about, that look in her eyes. it is endearing it is intimate and they are special i knew they would be and it is a privilege that this sort of trust these moments of vulnerability and power exchange become my moments too my experience. a bond forms when this occurs it isn’t discussed it just happens although i can always feel the shift during, maybe they can too. but i never ask.

i am the voyeur with a camera in hand silent fly on the wall, or in this case roof, the sound of the shutter is my breath aside from the occasional grunt or groan that escapes my lips when i really enjoy what i see. i look through the camera window, present in more ways than one, i am lucky enough to watch the movie with my eyes and then through the lens taking turns from one to the next and back again over and over. it is the perfect blend of fantasy and reality and i feel safe here, watching. always have and as it turns out always will. it’s where i belong.
the aftercare he shows her moves me and for a moment i envy this sort of connection the embrace the understanding the compassion and soon we relax on a colorful blanket and look up into the night and laugh and talk and there is a perfect stillness and we reflect upon our favorite parts and it’s Christmas and i walk away grinning ear to ear with gifts already opened and belly full from the experience which tasted better than any holiday ham ever could. magical.

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TRUCK NUTS AND COUGARS…by Natasha Gornik

Posted on July 24, 2012 by natashagornik

i have a cold and try to sneeze with my eyes open but it doesn’t work. it seems most sports involve balls and the Olympics will begin soon in London and we don’t give a shit and eventually get on the plane where we can think about everything yet do nothing for hours. these days i’m totally cool with dying on a plane, not that i want to die, i’m actually a huge life advocate but if it were to be anywhere i’d be okay with it up in the air and this works for me because it clearly means i have sorted out my fear of flying and i kind of turn myself on with all this confidence. i stare at a map of the world in the back of a magazine deciding where to go next and it’s either beef or cheese tortellinis and the pasta sauce looks like blood and pus and is delicious. the flight attendant is hitting on our neighbor who is wearing a wedding band but that doesn’t seem to matter so much because he’s in a jazz quintet and has just finished a European tour and we laugh about this with his band mate who sits to our left and tells us he has been talking about fucking a cougar since the beginning of the tour and this may be his chance or at least a couple of free drinks and soon she has brought over a show and tell scrapbook of celebrity musicians hair locks and signatures and a bag of scotch and that’s probably better than a quickie in the bathroom anyway. i’m not a part of the mile high club and any chance i’ve had to do so i’ve passed on it just seems like it would be rushed and uncomfortable and then there’s all that anxiety of a line forming and i’m not into any of that although there was that one time in a porta potty but kids will do the darndest things and i should never say never but probably never or wait have i fucked on a plane now i can’t remember and there are these carlashes being sold in the Skymall magazine, big stupid plastic eyelashes that stick to the tops of each headlight and we talk about truck nuts, decorative plastic ballsacks that hang from the rear bumper of trucks they come in various colors like black and yellow and blue and we have a solid chuckle over blue balls and our new friend tells us “all i want for Christmas is some truck nuts” and the Cougar keeps walking by and smiling with a touch more lipgloss and better hair with each passing, ready to pounce or be pounded although i’m sure either will do.

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CURE FOR HEADACHES…by Natasha Gornik 7/12/12

Posted on July 8, 2012 by natashagornik

she tells me to sit down on the floor and i kneel, coffee in hand. it takes a few moments and when she comes back to the room she tells me to take off all of my clothing and hands me a schoolgirl skirt, black with flaps on the front, and peach knee socks. she has me kneel again with my back to her and begins to braid my hair into pigtails. i like the feeling of the comb through my hair and her hands on my neck. when she finishes she tells me to go on all fours and masturbate. i do so, listening to the movement behind me i hear them kissing and when she comes back she is naked and starts to scrape her nails up my thighs and onto my ass.

spankings.

her hand is very delicate but the hits are hard and make my cheeks blush. she has long thin fingers and uses them to push my lips together and pull them apart and i’m creamy and then a hitachi wand clamped to my clit and bondage with teal rope and i am placed over him our bodies are an x on the bed both on all fours me thrown on top of him diagonally and i am bound and gagged. she puts nipple clamps on each side and i scream out because it hurts so good. Fiona Apple is talking about hot butter and i am turning into honey under her hand his teeth the g spot keeps getting hit and i am squirting gushing over and over i am now on my back being forced to cum watching her cum and i hold on to the tube that connects the air conditioning floor unit and the window and feel it’s heat running my fingers up and down the warm ribbed plastic and it becomes my friend my go to, i feel the heat and it distracts me from the pain not much just a little. i enjoy the sensation and it gives my hand a security even though i feel so safe and i squirt again. they both take a nipple and torture them more and my eyes are now rolling and i am beyond caring about much i am in a complete headlock of subspace my only thoughts are whether it will be pain or pleasure next or both. i am incredibly calm by the end and we lay side by side arms wrapped around each other as he explodes all over our tits. i look at her and smile. we still haven’t kissed, since five years ago in front of someone that doesn’t matter anymore.

the next day, i am in another dimension and Mel is choking on sunlight which makes the lemonade sparkle and its transparent in a murky lake way and i can’t see the trees through it. later we walk up from the water giddy and he says lets lay on the grass i say okay and we collapse down arms and legs splayed and i think about Europe i can’t wait to be in fucking Europe and stare up to tree tops for the fourth time in five days and have a world is my oyster moment. i’m not feeling so old or lonely anymore and start to get excited for the future for life for lust for many many things.

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FUCK YOU, TAIWAN…by Natasha Gornik 7/5/12

Posted on July 6, 2012 by natashagornik

we get lost. at least it is beautiful and the light dapples on the trees and it reminds me a bit of India which makes me afraid but i get through it and then we are really lost and come upon abandoned homes painted pastel rust colors and everything has a layer of metaphorical cobweb on it and then we see a home with a tv playing from inside the large windows and knock on the door and minutes go by before we hear a voice and i can’t tell where it is coming from. a man with white hair and glasses and no shirt on, grey chest hair melting on reddish flesh appears and we exchange directions and a touch of pleasantries and then i notice the shot gun in his hand as he tells me not to worry about the shotgun in his hand. i am in a Rob Zombie movie and he laughs and five minutes later he is teaching me the ways of country driving, specifically backing up.

we have a shot and some pizza and forget about the drive. Mona’s boy brought tomahawks and blowdarts and knives to play with. we talk about how alligators will do anything for marshmallows and someone tells a story about shoving marbles up a guy’s ass and whipping them out and how he ended up at the proctologist the next day and they found one single grey marble jammed up there. it reminds me how i once made a series where i shoved different objects into my vagina and took self portraits. candy canes and candles and lollipops and sparklers and such. i kept finding things lodged up there over those few weeks. condoms and tissue paper and such. i didn’t share this memory but i should have and someone chimes in with a story about her friend Pepper who ran with Cuban strippers in Florida and Mona yells out”there must a candle in this mothafuckin house” and we continue to nourish ourselves with all sorts of cabin rental decadence. later someone finds snake skins and we figure out margaritas and math don’t mix and get acquainted with our topsheets for the evening.
Sade and Mona are laying an old hammock net onto a teepee of sticks that they just set up. the creek is as beautiful as i remember. each time i have been here i am in the throws of soul searching. this time it seems more serious or real. i’m more aware that change is challenging in this layered onion peel way i keep peeling back these layers or skins and its more intense more pungent each time usually when one finishes peeling or gets to the center of the onion, the flavor and oder are so extreme that one starts to tear up which could also be called crying. they threw whips in the bag mix next to the bugspray and turkey sandwiches. bodies over logs and lashings and squirting over flowers. i can’t actuallly visualize the onion, i don’t know if its red or yellow or white i can only inhale what was left of that last peel and i would like to her peel my skirt down and then use her foot to softly break my stance and push me down onto the log. the Talking Heads play and it matches the intensity of the sun. after cigarettes and peanut butter jelly sandwiches i think about the Earl of Sandwich and how epic his idea has become. last night i couldn’t stop eating Sun Chips and cookies. it was utter devastation on their part.i’m not sorry for them. Ryan lights the firepit with his cigarette and we lay under the sky and trees right above the creek’s fast waters and brownies and spliffs and lazy i stare up at the branches swaying above me and can’t help but close my eyes for a little while. everyone goes silent and listens to the music and the fire crackling and the marshmallows from the smores melt and thick white onto the firey wood. stories of colonoscopies and endoscopies ensue and i light another cigarette, promising myself i will quit tomorrow. everyone agrees it’s a sex in the woods kind of place.

i have a cigarette with my morning coffee and watch Axe rub body butter all over her back and her ass cheeks. the others have left now and she flips over she’s topless and spreads her legs and i look down between them to golden sparkly fabric that fits snug around her lips and the trees and the wind and silence again. we spend the day at an antique store and i talk to the shop keeper as she buys a new box to store memories from the past few days in. he is from South Africa an older man with matching breath that added a nice touch to his character which i don’t seem to mind at all. his voice is soothing and he rolls his r’s in a way that makes me scratch the back of my head and arms i could have listened to it for days on end. he invites us over for coffee and to see his box collection. his husband stands by quietly and the serenity of the situation takes me places. later, telescopes and Flash Gordon and firehouses happen and we spend the rest of the night horny and hungry for banana pudding on vanilla wafers. i stand in the kitchen and look at the four or five boxes of pudding mix and think to myself “there’s no way we’re going to get around to all this pudding” and Dear Prudence plays in a way that i have never heard it before.

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I OVERSEE LIMBO IN DUMBO…by Natasha Gornik 6/27/12

Posted on June 27, 2012 by natashagornik

i couldn’t sleep. i thought about the bodega that makes great breakfast sandwiches and i thought about the first apartment i ever had and when my parents came to visit on Puerto Rican Independence day there was a cop car set on fire blazing away two doors down from my apartment. i watch five episodes of SVU and masturbate three times with my pink Rabbit and then inhale and exhale to ten each way until i reach one hundred and forty and it was finally the sound of my fan that lulls me to sleep it sounds like waves like the tides changing and it took me back to the ocean to the shore and all of the relaxing memories i have of it. i wake up thinking about shoes at Barneys and Sarah comes over and has me stretch and downward dog and star and we discuss yoga arms and today i went into a trance quite literally the hypnotist was a very sexy Eastern European woman in shiny black high heels with red toenails peeping through and a modest yet tight a line black dress and flips her hair often. her wedding band had a very large rock attached to it and i knew that her accent would be nice and soothing and as she discusses my smoking habit i imagine her unzipping that dress from the back and peeling it off and down around her ankles and i stand in front of her and we rub our bodies together and flick and entwine our tongues and she tells me to lay on the couch and she starts to sing speak and my mind starts going to many places none of which i can remember but vivid not disturbing thoughts and then my hearing jumps out of my brain and pulls back to her voice and then i hear her tell me to lift one finger in three two one and my hand pops up with one erect forefinger pointing upwards. it is the strangest thing and i feel so relaxed and there is no tension in me like anywhere and later after the Ava Taurel documentary as i talk with Jan and friends i have a cigarette but it tastes different it tastes like harm.

we come upon an XXX movie theatre and ask what is playing. two of his front teeth are missing and tells us i forget the names but one is about drunk lesbian sorority girls and the next is all about latina women getting fucked up their bubble asses and the next is focused on huge tits and i completely forget the last one it is afternoon and the theatre smells like urine but i don’t care and it is so dark i can’t see the seats or the floor and we choose the back row and i use my phone light to check for cum or roaches around me and it doesn’t look too bad and the first seat i sit on is broken so we move to the left a bit and our eyes start to adjust and i look around and see a bald head three rows in front of us and then in the front someone has either lit a cigarette or a joint hard to say and big titty porn is playing a door to door salesman is invited into her house and soon she is licking her own nipples as he sucks on her pussy like its a fucking popsicle and soon i’m sucking on his popsicle but the armrest is in the way and is pressing into my chest so i sit up again and watch the screen and then i sit on his lap but first pull my stretch pants and panties down and he slides his cock slowly inside of me and i brace myself with neighboring seats and he brings his fingers under and around my thigh and rubs a circle onto my clit and the whole thing is such a turn on and i watch the screen as a man fucks a woman doggie style while she licks on a wet swollen clit and i turn my head and watch the man who was smoking getting a blow job in the corner from a figure with a backpack on and then i turn back and look at him and cum. hard. and then i start to smell McDonalds.

smoking cigarettes again i keep holding onto her words, that it may take a couple of weeks to kick in. i wonder. i kill time by playing with my fingers in front of a mirror holding them upright and intertwining them and here is the church and here is steeple open the door and there are the people and tonight at the party we talked about what fetish “flushing” would be it started as human ashtray and went to cream pies and i found out that i am left nippled and Tex sipped her mike’s hard lemonade and laughed.

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TROY ORLEANS PREPPING FOR SUSPENSION, YESTERDAY IN MANHATTAN…by Natasha Gornik

Posted on June 15, 2012 by natashagornik

the only thing more fun than being tied up is watching someone get tied up. while photographing it. we had such a great dynamic and i was so turned on throughout the entire session even thinking about it now gets me razzed. looking forward to what lies ahead with Troy.
rope. what a great word. go ahead say it aloud let your tongue roll over the r and let the p linger in between your lips for a moment then let it escape in a hard whisper turning it into a two syllable word and drop your lower lip at the same time and watch all of this in the mirror i swear to Christ you’re gonna want to fuck yourself.

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THIS MEAL, I’D FUCK IT…by Natasha Gornik

Posted on May 31, 2012 by natashagornik

an object of desire. i love it when i have one. it usually ends up a man, sometimes a woman, but mainly men. i like when my object of desire is still just that, a desire, and that keeps the flame hot violet blue hot and its a fun little game i like to play with myself. i like the excitement of it, the newness of it, i like the drive behind it i like it when the only person that knows about my object of desire is me i like to try to find details about them in that private online stalker way and i like that i usually get what i want and sometimes i don’t but i like the idea that i usually do and it gets me cravy and i burn a little on the inside with anticipation and i picture that i picture a fantasy i can go wherever i want with it because it doesn’t exist yet it hasn’t happened and the skies the limit on where i want my imagination to go with my object of desire. we can see each other across a darkly lit room and flirt with our eyes and end up in a bathroom stall with my legs wrapped around his waist and panties dangling from one ankle and then we can be strangers on a crowded train and he can be behind me and its so packed that he is pressed up against my ass and i’m in thin cotton which clings to me from the body heat and he is breathing on the back of my neck and we never actually touch but just the energy from that encounter is enough to drive me over the edge or i can wonder if he is kinky and if he’ll tie me up and play me the way that i like it and will he kiss me right and does he lick me and fuck me with that perfect rhythm and knows just what to whisper in my ear and he always does when he’s still in my mind still my object of desire. and i’m selective so selective although it isn’t like i choose it’s just like i know one look at that person and something inside of me says WANT and that’s all it takes. i don’t wonder about logistical things like job or whether he wants kids or any of that realistic bric a brac. no, this is all about desire and want and lust and the game of getting. and so far, i’ve never been disappointed with my objects of desire. and yeah this meal, i’d fuck it.

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YOU LIKE TO SMOKE MY CIGAR…by Natasha Gornik

Posted on May 24, 2012 by natashagornik

where to begin. i got back about a half hour earlier than expected and walked in and they were both in my bedroom. he was on his knees organizing my panty drawer as commanded and was doing a really nice job all thongs together and color coordinated garters in a pile next to an assortment of colorful lace cupped bras and so on we both commended him for doing such a good job and then settled into the living area where she packed a pipe and we began to smoke and shotgun one another and then to him i bent over and grabbed his mouth forcing his lips open and felt his jaw move around and then i brought my mouth really close and blew directly down his throat his eyes wouldn’t look into mine and good boy and then Sade stood in front of me and bent down to where i was kneeling and blew into my mouth and it was a thick deep hit so it lasted a long while and soft lips touched once the last drop was expelled and they caught for just a moment and this made me sigh and a little smoke escaped from my mouth and i looked at him and he looked down right where his gaze belongs even though i knew he watched us just where his gaze belonged and blew one last puff inside of him. by then everyone was relaxed and buzzing and i brought my purple cock out and asked her if she could show me how she would gag him and she took the dildo from my hands and unzipped her jeans and loosened her belt and brought that cock in between the zipper creating a harness with it and her belt with such a confidence that i know that she has done this many times before and i’ve witnessed a few of those moments and she walked closer to him and said open up and he did and she started slowly told him he was giving it kisses to get all of the dust off and then started brushing his teeth running it alongside his cheek back and forth so it touched his molars taking turns with each side back and forth and then right down his throat hole working it in slowly nice and deep his nose kissing the studs on her belt and his face went red and i grabbed a thick leather wrap belt and she wrapped it around his head and used it to both blindfold his eyes and to go deeper closer to her body her cock turning his head into her object and tears ran down his face and a frothiness had begun to form she popped it out and soon he had a creamy mouth and she went deeper and slowed down when he was on the verge gave him short breath breaks enough to settle the heart but not the excitement and then told him to stroke his cock the same speed his mouth was stroking hers and he did and there was teal rope wrapped around it only his swollen head stuck out and he began to run his hands over it and she talked all sorts of nasty to him and i took pictures and pushed his head closer and watched him jerk off and watched her face her joy and watched his cheeks puff from the size of dildo and all the liquids that had formed on his face and she told him to ask me nicely if he could release and i said yes quickly and she got behind him and tweaked his nipples and told him “cum” and he did.

we watched him as we smoked in the backyard. he stood still staring at my refrigerator holding the green towel that he had just used to wipe himself with. he’s a very good submissive because he’s very submissive we both agreed. he finished off the pitcher of piss before he left.

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LAST NIGHT…by Natasha Gornik

Posted on May 20, 2012 by natashagornik

there is a church two buildings away from my home and always a bell is ringing or voices are singing. its a really nice thing to hear from my backyard. during the winter, we would open up the windows in my kitchen and listen to the bells they always chimed what i considered a sad tale. last night i heard it differently, it all of a sudden sounded lovely and the melody smelled of flowers. maybe because its spring now. much later we had a spanking contest in my bedroom, the winner got to kiss Sade’s ass.

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IT BEGINS ON THE COUCH…by Natasha Gornik

Posted on May 17, 2012 by natashagornik

it takes a while to get going, but eventually his hand ends up behind her head holding her hair from the crown to the lowest slope it is wrapped around his fingers which are closed tight. he holds it back enough for her head to tilt slightly which causes her lower lip to puff and drop open the slightest degrees but enough to see the reflection of the lamp on her lower front tooth and it glistens in the warmth. this makes her breaths shallow and closer together because it excites her and she drops her tongue just enough to top the tip of the lip and he pulls her hair back confidently adding just a quick tiny tug which sends small sharp pain vibrations up her skull and as he pulls her head down more he comes in closer so their lips are so close almost touching and this makes her want to lick them but she wants him to make all the moves so he gets the message that he is in control. he pulls her head down further and this makes her cry out quietly and she gets more excited keeping her hands limp by her hips letting him know that she is fully in his hands and with his right one he runs his finger over the wet tooth and wet tongue and ends on the wet lips and leans in more and whispers one word into her mouth. Mine.

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