Category Archives: Uncategorized

(My First Time) “[Sex] Work” by Bastard Keith

“Feel like making $200 the easy way?” Sally, like me, was an artist and a pervert.  The difference between us was that, at this point, I had yet to monetize my perversions.  She, on the other hand, was a comparative … Continue reading

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Movies Taught Me How to Love by Bastard Keith

If you want to learn how to fuck, the movies are a terrible place to begin.  They are aesthetically dishonest and often dangerously impractical.  For starters, you will never have a body that tight, your face will always look way … Continue reading

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AUTHENTICITY MONTH: Diane, Chapter Six by Bastard Keith 10.20.12

The walk to Heather’s apartment was not a short one, but it gave Diane a chance to appreciate a neighborhood that, til now, had seemed dark, sinister and forbidding.  Once Rose, Heather and Diane had traveled two blocks from the … Continue reading

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AUTHENTICITY MONTH: Diane, Chapter Five by Bastard Keith 10.17.12

Rose’s eyes creased with questions.  But she turned her head to Teddy and Lou, suddenly as certain as anything. “I know this lady.  Her name is Diane, and she ain’t no cop.” Teddy and Lou looked at Diane and then … Continue reading

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AUTHENTICITY MONTH: Diane, Chapter Four by Bastard Keith 10.12.12

Going by its exterior, the building was nothing special.  Dingier than Diane had expected, perhaps.  Stained with garbage, weather and age.  Only some of the apartments were lit, creating the impression of a mouth missing several teeth.  Was this really … Continue reading

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AUTHENTICITY MONTH: Diane, Chapter Three by Bastard Keith 10.9.12

            When Lance opened the door of his own home that night, he was greeted with the sounds of opera.  He winced.  Diane again.  Her ludicrous fascinations.  Her pretensions to culture.  No matter.  She’d probably lost track of the time, … Continue reading

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AUTHENTICITY MONTH: Diane, Chapter Two by Bastard Keith 10.5.12

Breakfast was prepared the next morning with a kind of bullying haste.  No sooner had Lance sat down and unfolded his newspaper than the plate was slid under his nose, steaming, immaculate.  He looked up at Diane, whose face had … Continue reading

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AUTHENTICITY MONTH: ‘Diane, Chapter One’ by Bastard Keith 10.3.12

             Diane found, finally, that the best thing about having Lance inside her was that it gave her an immense amount of time to think about literally anything else.  It was not that Diane felt nothing, per se.  In fact, … Continue reading

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CONSENT ISSUE: Defying Convention, Part 2 by Bastard Keith 9.20.12

So let’s talk about the Democrat problem. Shall we take it as read that we all watched the Republican National Convention and enjoyed it for the mad-as-fuck carnival of gross dishonesty and terrifying jingoism that it was?  Because come on, … Continue reading

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CONSENT ISSUE: Defying Convention, Part 1 by Bastard Keith 9.9.12

If you, like me, are a voracious political junkie, then you know that there is no sweeter hit than the televised National Conventions of our two major political parties.  This is not to say that it is nourishing; junkies don’t … Continue reading

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